Are You Letting Down Your Child?

Are you Letting Down Your Child? You as a parent can be the cause of Letting Down Your Child. When you feel your parenting approach is failing, maybe it’s time for a different approach. 

Please read this article below. It shares a lot of valuable information throughout and certain parts may actually reach to you with similarities.

Becoming a Mom

When I first became a mom, I was so excited and passionate. But what I learned during the process was how serious motherhood and parenting really is. It is no joke and it’s one of those things some take lightly and some do it just because.

I believe children are our future leaders of this world. To create one as such, we have to value the opportunity to be their PRIME example as leaders and role models, invest our time, and efforts into their upbringing.

From a child early on, I always had a passion for children. I was a babysitter for many years even at a young age. From there, I looked forward to having children of my own one day. When I had my first child, I achieved opening a daycare center to bring a childhood dream of mine alive b/c I enjoy children. 

Here’s A Short Story

When motherhood sank in, it was all about my children. I wanted to be the best mom I could be. I had high expectations of being a mom. I wanted to meet all their needs. Providing love, nurture, care, education, and etc.  

When my marriage began to fail, I started losing self control, control over my life, and my environment. By that, things changed in perspectives, interest, and desires. I had lost interest in caring for myself. I wanted to give up, I thought I lost hope, and at one point I stopped caring about life overall. 

I became disengaged from my role as a wife, a mother, a being, all b/c I became overwhelmed by the experiences of life in itself. I felt every investment and energy I dedicated to and had given was gone. Gone by the way of my own ignorance, foolishness, and etc.

But that’s what became wrong with the picture. You can’t stop caring no matter what.

Every obstacle in life is a way forcefully pulling and pushing you to go higher into a better direction of yourself. You have to sort and shift, learn and figure it all out.

When I began my journey of healing back into reality that’s when it all hit me. I realized I had to improve my well being b/c my children really needed me. I felt I was their source of many things. I knew I had to get it together.

It was the state of mind playing tug of war with me and I had no choice but to fight it. You have to realize, you’re the one in control. You’re the one that has to be determined. You’re the one that has to make up your mind without a doubt, then work towards crossing the line to get going. Check out my article on: A Letter of Encouragement.

As I began working on improving myself. You can read my post on 4 Good Habits to Improve Your Life in 2022 if you’re looking for ideas, suggestions, or inspiration. I then realized how much I separated myself from things I enjoyed. Things like finding time for me and what I like to do, spending time with others, and etc. 

I had to console and sort through my own circumstances. I am grateful that during those trying times of my life no matter what was going on. I’m truly grateful that, during those times of my life the well being of my children couldn’t have been any better. They were happy, loving, and went on about their day constantly giving their love and inspiration. Through them, I’ve learned so much simply by watching them. 

Knowing your Child and Noticing Changes

While I was busy being in my sorrows. I had noticed a few differences. For example, a change in their behavior. When we would homeschool they were willing and interested to wake up to learn, read, or any sort of educational activities. But then, it got to a point were usual activities seemed more like unfulfilling tasks rather than learning while having fun like we do. 

There was little interest and their enthusiasm had changed. Rather than the usual of playing with their toys and exploring as they would. It was more of a sedentary lifestyle like wanting to watch tv or something to do with their electronics. 

Does this sound familiar to you?

If so, these are signs or signals your children are expressing to you for attention. This could be a possible need for change. 

A Need for Personal Change

By realizing the impact of my differences and the effect it placed on my children. I knew a need for personal change was necessary. I began to realize I was letting down my children. I had to do something about it. I recognized the need to change and empower what they were missing. 

They needed me, they needed mom. They were missing the love, affection, and attention that every child should experience coming into this world. 

I was moved by this realization. I was moved to get myself back into shape mind, body, and spirit. I began making an effort to have our days go back to being fulfilled. I made an effort to make our days geared towards their needs, wants, interest, and desires.

What I did to implement change

What I did to implement change was I began with myself. It was simply a requirement for self discipline. If you’d like to see some of what I did, look into this article: 8 Things You Can Do to Change Your Life in 2022. I changed my ways, my attitude, my thinking, my everything. I also became more disciplined with my children as well. 

Self Reflection

I began to self reflect to get a better understanding of what specific changes were needed. One of the things I gathered is that, maybe by spending so much time w/ my little ones and not enough time around adults or more so with myself. I believed I became a child myself all over again. I lost a sense of touch w/ the outer world and lost touch w/ the necessities for life. Such things important for my well being and my surrounding areas. 

From there, I worked on what I noticed most necessary for a better well being. This overall for me was needed mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially. I did my best to make every effort to do what I can to enjoy life with my children and for myself no matter what we had going on. 

By losing touch with my self, I had forgotten how to be in touch with my little ones. I also had to self reflect back to periods of my childhood to see what it was that I used to do. I had to select back to the periods of what I enjoyed as a child. This was a process of learning and unlearning familiarity and unfamiliar things.

I got creative to share memories from my childhood and teach them. From there, the blessings unraveled and things took its course. Over time we began to restructure our lives to enjoy and have fun all over again.

Savor the Moments

When I started to realize how much time was lost. It was important to savor the moments as best as possible. When I began to notice how days had rolled by, weeks became months, and before I knew a couple of years had rolled by. They were growing, changing, and developing while I was stuck in my mess still repeating the same unwanted disaster. 

That’s what helped sparked the realization for the need to change. It all got old and tiring in itself. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Thats when it became clear to savor every little moment I could with them for what was lost. Happy ones, strange ones, odd ones, challenging ones, and etc. I was determined to plug myself into my reality. I figured if I’m gonna be here I rather be here to live and enjoy, rather than live in misery complaining and crying getting no where.

It wasn’t easy, especially when they did things I particularly wasn’t too fond of. Like creating a big mess I would have to clean, making slime or similar things as it would get all over our clothes, beddings, etc. There were also things like drawing all over the house, sticky foods on furnitures, repetitively calling me, needing me, etc, and so on.

I wanted to appreciate it all and find value in things they wanted time for and for the things they like. It took some time before we really all started to feel the flow of things to make sense. It wasn’t an overnight process and it certainly didn’t feel natural either when we initially began our quest for improvement.

But I was determined to change and I refused to give up. I really saw my end goal and kept it in mind and my eye on the prize.

Keeping the Momentum Going 

At first, it was so challenging and frustrating at times. In fact, it felt worst than how I was feeling prior my moments of sorrow. This was because, I had to do something different from what I was used to. But for some reason, there was a desire to see my girls more happier than me. I believed that’s what motivated me to better myself. 

The more we kept going, the more empowered I began to feel. I became more determined more than ever before to do this and do it right. I was so determine to breakthrough, make a home for my babies to be at peace, and situate our downfalls once and for all. 

Even if we were moving super slow as we did in the initial phase. It took me some time before even seeing any progress. I was focused on our desired outcome. I focused on what it would feel like to have a household in togetherness. 

I began enjoying more times being present with things. I found myself less and less worried or concerned about anything that was going on negatively in my life. I found myself less focused on concerns and more focused on what was going on. I began to look further into all of our future needs, wants, and desires of our family. Things were disappearing instantly without me noticing.

Wait, It Gets Better

Things eventually started to become clear. I let go of being bothered by things around me or things within my marriage, my circumstances, or whatever my little ones did. 

I accepted a messy happy home. We began taking our time all over again to simply enjoy each other. Finding pleasure in the simple things. It became easier as we went on. I was beginning to slowly enjoy life’s true and real precious gifts. 

The process of it all truly coming together took many tries. Some days I wasn’t interested and I felt like giving up many times. That’s why it’s so important to keep pushing yourself. You have to keep on going no matter what. That’s the barrier for you to breakthrough and overcome. That is the path that is waiting for you to bring you into least resistance. 

I was dealing with my mindset wanting to mentally heal the state of exhaustion, frustration, and other things that was pulling me into a lower state. Realizing the effect it placed in my home was definite for me to improve for the greater good for myself, my family, and my little ones. 

In General

Children need hope, they rely on us for total support, development, well being, and etc. I believe when a child is conceived attention, affection, love, and dedication is necessary immediately. This is vital to raise healthy, confident, and moral leaders of this world. 

Your child or children maybe desperately needing you. You may or may not even know it. I hope by reading this post it will shed some light into your world. Maybe you’ve faced similar scenario and don’t know the effects it has on your child. 

I hope if this sounds like you and you are not in the greatest space. I truly hope that this will help you or guide you. You are the source of hope in your child’s world and primarily through life. By spreading love, compassion, light into their lives you are building strong, bold, confident, smart, and determined beings to have a rather more successful path to grow and live as happy adults. 

Children needs guidance, direction, support, and lots of patience. If you are not ready to share your world with another being and truly be willing to dedicate your time without hesitation. Then having children should probably hold off until you have educated yourself to become knowledgable of what it requires to have a happy, healthy, and stable environment to bring them into. 

I am not against having a family or having children of your own. In fact, I think it’s wonderful. I believe it’s one of life’s beautiful and most precious gifts. Unfortunately, many people have children to then realize the challenges that it comes with but after it has already been done. 

This is what creates a struggle and these outcomes can effect the child negatively. Some may not be impacted but the fact that some could should make us all become aware of this and take it seriously. A healthy environment and a happy home thrives on the personality of each individuals strength, compassion, affection, time, and so much more. 

Not only does parenting require you physically, but requires you mentally, financially, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and economically at any time and any place. Nothing is straight forward or guaranteed. Many parents before me and I’m sure after me find ways to figure it all out during the process as they go along. But, if you could make a difference and make it more helpful or easier, why not? 

Make it easier and simple for you and for a child to have a better understanding to the way of living life. Having an awareness in advance could create a greater impact by educating yourself to make healthy decisions and better choices.

I may not be the world’s most greatest parent or mom. I’ve made so many mistakes some of which took a toll over my life. Some I dwelled on for long periods of time. Some that led me into being sad or depressed. I can’t go back and change any of my past. But I can change them now. Each day, I’m determine to be better for myself and for my children, I hope you will join me with Life, Light, and Love.

Spread the Love in Life with Light. 

Just Kadia

Disclaimer: The information given here are none other than my very own personal experiences and has improved my life in many ways. I believe in hope, faith, and miracles. If this resonates with you, may your heart be delighted. This is simply to help inspire or motivate you in anyway. No medical or professional advice is given. Otherwise, feel free to also seek for professional help.

Be that in Life, Light, and Love!